Enjoy the Season!

With so many people from so many cultures celebrating holidays, holy days (*eyes the similarity between the words*), and family time, "Merry Christmas" just doesn't cover enough. There's the ever popular (and politically correct) "Happy holidays", but I'm a rebel. I never did like anything labeled as "p.c." (even though I talk to people all the time at work so I've been saying "Happy holidays" since ... oh ... Thanksgiving *big grin*). Anyway, I'll just wish you all a wonderful season of celebrating and joy.


To help with the joy part, I'll share this odd little tidbit from an exchange with my (eldest!!) sister. I think it explains so many things about why I am, well, nuts.

Background: My sister, to protect the not so innocent, we'll call her Jolie, made up a song about my butt while we were wrapping presents. It involved me having butt branches.

.........

Yes, I know. Moving on with the story.

Jolie told me she would help with the massive swell of presents under the tree by unwrapping her gift from me. Instead of being intelligent and just telling her no, I asked, "Is it Christmas?" Earlier in the day, she'd announced I couldn't open a present from a friend because the present says "Merry Christmas and thanks for watching the cats".

Well, being the smart ass that she is, Jolie promptly and brightly told me, "Yes (it is Christmas)!"

I sighed because Mom laughed and added, "Somewhere."

Playing off Mom's excuse, Jolie pointed out it was Christmas in England, and I love England, so she should get to open her present. I tried again. "Have you eaten breakfast on Christmas?" Our family has a rule that no one can open any presents until everyone has eaten breakfast and is dressed. It was torturous as a child. I still have mental scars in the form of extreme impatience. *grins*

That question almost stumped Jolie. Because she hadn't. Finally, she chose the route of small children everywhere (even though she technically isn't one); she lied. "Yes!" she told me with a mischievous grin.

"Well, that's just a lie. Santa doesn't like liars," I announced with an air of superiority. (Yes, I'm not called brat for nothing!) "Santa's going to take back all your presents and bring you coal."

"Can I put it in your stocking then?"

"No."

"Can I put it up your nose?"

I wrinkled said nose. "No!"

"Can I use it to decorate your butt branches?"

I sighed and put my head in my hands. Tell me, how the blasted Hades does one respond to that?! Besides, Adeline's already started to decorate a tree for all the boys.

So, enjoy the season, coal decorated butt branches and all!